Embracing the Heart of the Proverbs 14 Woman

Mother’s Day is right around the corner. A time for thanking Moms for all that they do with cards or flowers or even a special dinner. The kids running around the house, trying to keep the secret until Sunday morning, yet their excited giggles tend to give away any surprise.

Yet we will still act surprised anyway. We will still love the hand-print creations, the breakfast in bed, the flowers that are brought. We love them because even if the secret is spoiled, their excitement and outward displays of love are contagious.

More importantly, we want to build them up. If we admit we knew that the necklace was coming or that the restaurant was our favorite, they would be disappointed. Their little hearts would break to learn we heard them scrambling eggs in the kitchen or saw them outside picking flowers.

The Best of Intentions

More often than not, it’s the Proverbs 31 woman who gets all the attention when we start thinking about what it means to be a biblical wife and mother.

Proverbs 31 is the gold standard of sorts, even if she’s hard to live up to. She’s a superhero of a woman who could stay up late and get up early. She could mend socks, work with wool and flax, and made sure everyone had a good, home-cooked meal.

Yet, often, after reading about her and getting a sudden burst of determination we find ourselves quickly deflated.

We realize that we can’t mend socks… and if we are being honest here, quite often our children’s socks don’t even match.

We might stay up late, but it’s certainly not working on a home ec. project. Instead, we are binging on Netflix or devouring the latest best-seller.

And getting up early… well how’s that supposed to happen? You can’t burn both ends of the candle.

The Proverbs 31 women often seems unattainable and out of reach for us, especially in today’s modern world.

And if you are not careful, she’s going to make you feel really bad about yourself.

Those kids might be celebrating you on Sunday, but you… well, you’re just seeing everything you are not.

You are going to read these few verses and see every failure in your own life.

There’s More To Proverbs You Know

Even though it’s in her name, we forget that the Proverbs 31 woman comes out of the 31st chapter in Proverbs… meaning, there are 30 previous chapters. And like any book, if we only read the end, we kind of ruin it for ourselves.

And I think a lot of us do that with the Proverbs 31 woman. We try to live up to the end of the book, without looking at the rest of the material. Thirty chapters of wisdom and encouragement; of guidance and rules and warnings.

And tucked in the middle, is a single verse that has a lot to say.

A Tale of Two Woman

Typically, when we think of two contrasting women in the Bible we think of Martha and Mary, the two sisters who had the unique experience of meeting, serving, and worshiping Jesus.

But did you know they aren’t the only contrasting women in the Bible?

Hidden in the middle of Proverbs we find two very different types of women who are doing two very different things with their own homes.

While one is building theirs up, the other is tearing it down.

Meet The Proverbs 14:1 Woman

Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Proverbs 14:1

In Proverbs 14:1 we are introduced to two very different women. The first one is wise and she builds her house.

The other? Well, it states that she is foolish and pulls it down with her own hands.

Clearly, these are two very different women. Women who I think should be studied.

With the first, we find a woman who is building her house. And while you might think she’s out there with a hammer and nails, the world “build” here actually means so much more than just the physical structure of the building. It can also mean establishing, setting up, and having children.

So while we might read it and see an industrious woman with power tools, this is also a calm and gentle one looking over both the structure and the contents. She is concerned about both the building, but also the people inside it.

Sound familiar?

Now, what about the other side of the coin – the foolish woman? Proverbs states that she is tearing it down with her own hands (emphasis mine).

And if building up the house includes the people – then tearing it down, includes them as well. Which makes sense when you look further back in Proverbs to chapter 9 where it states that “a foolish woman is clamorous…(verse 13).”

Clamorous.

This is one who murmurs, is filled with rage, and someone who is turbulent.

A foolish woman literally is angry, temperamental, and unstable. Verse 13 goes on to call her simple (silly or naive) and states that she knows nothing.

And because of this, she is the destruction of her own house and her own family.

Becoming A Proverbs 14 Woman

So maybe this Mother’s Day you are feeling a little less than when it comes to a Proverbs 31 woman, but what about trying for the Proverbs 14 woman? The one who builds up her house? The one who listens while the children tell a knock-knock joke for the hundredth time. The one who embraces the wobbly letters and misspelled words on homemade cards.

Be the one who builds up her children by thanking them for cold eggs and soggy toast, served in bed on Sunday morning when you’d rather sleep in. And the one who acts surprised when the gifts are given, even when you already know what’s inside.

Be the secret-keeper and joy-spreader this Sunday. A day when the children all try to behave just a little better. A day when they are kinder to their siblings and slightly more obedient to their parents. And watch as loving husbands do the best they can planning and coordinating the family – completely out of their element.

But more than that, be the one that builds. Builds with kind words and an endless supply of hugs. Be the one that encourages and uplifts.

The one that embraces the heart of the Proverbs 14 woman.