3 Practical Lessons From Mary & Martha To Apply Today

Learn 3 quick & practical lessons you can apply to your life today as we take a look at Mary & Martha, and discover how we can balance both service and worship.

As busy women wearing many titles, it can be easy to let the world urge us into busyness. Easy to forget that we need to sit at the Master’s feet and draw our strength from Him before we go about accomplishing all that our lives demand or that we have been called to do.

So how do we do it? How do we find the balance between service and worship? And how can the story of Mary & Martha help us see the need for both?

Big Lessons From Mary & Martha

If you are unfamiliar with the story of Mary and Martha, or just haven’t read it in a while, why not do that first? Real quick. Grab your bible and head over to Luke, chapter 10, verses 38-42. Or click here.

Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Done? I hope so because it may be a short story, but it’s full of information beneficial to you and me.

Martha – A Picture of Service

I may be taking some liberties here, but I fully believe Martha to be the older sister in this family. For one thing, it’s her house that Jesus (and His followers) are welcomed into. Verse 38 tells us that, “Martha received Him into her house (emphasis mine).”

The next part that leads me to believe that Martha is the older house is that in verse 40 she goes back to preparing – and stressing.

She is concerned with serving her guests. She is holding herself responsible for the comfort of those she has welcomed into her home.

Now, this could simply be because it’s her house. However, if we think about the time period and the expectations of a woman, we can see that she is also living up to the Proverbs 31 woman.

Well, at least, part of her anyway.

So here we have Martha, welcoming Jesus and those traveling with Him, into her home. She settles them in and then promptly gets back to work. Probably more work than she has planned for the day now that she had guests to consider.

But something is bothering her.

Verse 39 uses the word “cumbered” to describe her. She was distracted and too busy. I’m sure you can relate to that – I know I can.

If I have guests in my home, or even if I am preparing a meal for a function, I know I always want to do my best. Actually, I want to do better than my best. I strive for perfection.

And rather than achieving that, I usually end up short-tempered, snappy, and frustrated. Caught up in the act of serving I lose the blessing of hosting.

And I’m not even serving Jesus – but Martha was.

The perfectionist in me feels for her and can literally see her in the kitchen, frazzled because the recipe isn’t coming out just right. Patience threatening to break and frustration promising to boil over as the bread fails to rise. And losing her mind because the good napkins are not where they should be.

I totally and completely can see Martha in my mind – in her kitchen, trying to do more than her best. Expecting more of herself than is reasonable. And expecting every other woman in the house to pitch in and help with the preparations.

Mary – A Picture of Worship

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, but I do believe Mary to be the younger sister. It’s Martha’s house, Martha is the one cumbered in the kitchen. And Mary, well Mary is at Jesus’ feet.

She’s not stressing about serving. The Bible doesn’t even say if she offered to help Martha, or if she was in the kitchen prior to Jesus’ arrival.

Instead, we meet Mary in verse 39 at the feet of Jesus, listening to Him. Mary is content to stop whatever she was doing before He arrived and just take in whatever He has to say.

This doesn’t make her bad. This doesn’t mean that I don’t like Mary who doesn’t appear to be taking the perfectionist role to heart like her sister is. It simply makes her different than Martha.

Mary, in this instance, appears the polar opposite of her cumbered sister. Rather than rushing around she literally stops. She leaves the dirty dishes in the sink, the soup to simmer unattended, and the stress of serving in the kitchen.

And instead of being overcome by societal norms or well-meaning burdens, she is calmly at the feet of Jesus.

And this difference, for us and for them, is a good thing.

Martha’s Expectations Meet Mary’s Reality

Martha, cumbered and overly preoccupied with the task of serving Jesus and those with Him, goes to Jesus.

She leaves the kitchen with soups simmering and bread baking. Covered in flour and frustration, she approaches Jesus with a question.

“Dost though not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? (Luke 10:40)”

I don’t think I’m bold enough anymore to go up to Jesus and ask such a question. There may have been a time, but that was long ago.

However, I’m grateful that Martha did ask because it gives us a great opportunity to hear Jesus’ response to her question.

And I’m assuming that since His response was in kind, her question was as well. We can read it with any tone we want to, snappy, snarky, or rude, but Jesus responds in kind.

This leads me to believe that even though Martha may have been frazzled and stressed, her question was not accusatory, rude, or demanding.

And even if she was, Jesus had the unique perspective of knowing the motives behind her question.

Jesus’ Response

So this is it. This is the moment we have been waiting for.

Up until this point, we have met two sisters – one busy the other listening to the visitors.

One with a heart for service and customs, the other wanting to sit and listen.

The two sisters couldn’t appear to be any more different and this difference peaks with Martha’s request of Jesus to send Mary in to help her in verse 40.

It’s an interesting conundrum that Jesus is now in.

As a parent, I have heard my own children telling me that a sibling isn’t helping with a task I assigned. The one who is working is rightfully upset that the other is choosing to leave the work for someone else.

And that’s right where Martha is – upset that the work of serving the guests has been left up to her. It’s a job far too large for just one person and how dare Mary slip out and skip out on the work?

Jesus’ response is two-fold though.

He doesn’t just tell Martha that she is right and then order Mary into the kitchen.

And He doesn’t simply tell Martha to get over it and leave Mary alone.

What He does first, is to address the real problem.

In verse 41 He starts His response with, “…thou art careful and troubled about many things…”

He first acknowledges that Martha’s feelings are real – she is anxious and bothered – but it’s about many things. He addresses the fact that even with Mary in the kitchen, Martha will still be worried, because Mary cannot possibly take care of everything for her.

Sure, Mary will be another set of helping hands, but she won’t calm Martha’s worried mind because Martha is worried about a lot. With this first part of His response, Jesus addresses the overwhelm that Martha is feeling.

Then He dives right in and finishes His response in verse 42, “… one thing is needful: and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

He doesn’t tell Martha that she is wrong. Or that Mary needs to go to the kitchen. He doesn’t say the actions of one sister are superior to the actions of the other.

In this response, He validates both worship and service.

3 Practical Lessons For Us From Mary & Martha

In just 5 short verses, the story of Mary & Martha sums up the struggle that you and I face each and every day – how to balance service and worship.

In this short passage, we see the struggle of one woman, find compassion for her, and yet, desire to be more like the other.

We want to be the hostess that puts together the perfect event – even if it’s at the last minute.

We want to be sure all of our guests leave happy and well-fed, and that they have enjoyed their time at our home.

Yet, we also want to be with our guests, enjoying their company.

To be free to stop when a moment to slow down calls to us even when the busyness of life is calling to us from the other room.

And we desire to spend more quality time with God knowing He is supposed to be first in our lives yet caught up with the task of being a wife, a mother, a volunteer, and whatever else God has called us to.

What can we learn from Martha and Mary? And, more importantly, how can we apply these lessons to our lives?

1. Worship Is Always A Good Thing

As Jesus said, “…Mary hath chosen that good part… (Luke 10:42)”

Mary chose to do the one thing that would be beneficial to her and that was spend time at Jesus’ feet. She chose to let the meal wait and instead feast on the bread of life (John 6:35).

She knew that being spiritually fed was more important than feeding herself or even the guests. That this time with Jesus was irreplaceable.

2. Worship Time Can Never Be Taken Away

As Jesus continued to address Martha in verse 42, He continued, “…which shall not be taken away from her.”

The good part which shall never be taken away.

Our time with God, no matter how big or how small, can not be taken away from us. All of those early morning bible studies, mid-afternoon prayer meetings, and evening devotionals are the good things.

These are the times with God that feed our souls and prepare us for our lives.

This is when we can learn, grow, and take our burdens directly to God.

All of the time we pour into our studies, whether memorizing scripture, reading verse by verse, or learning more about a topic, is time well spent and something this world cannot take away from us.

3. When Trouble Is Brewing, Go Straight To God

Can you see Martha in the kitchen? Can you see her frazzled and frustrated? Maybe even sighing under her breath as she works diligently in her kitchen.

Looking over her shoulder and wondering, “Where on earth is Mary?”

I can.

Yet, instead of simply harboring bitterness and allowing it to grow, Martha goes straight to God.

She doesn’t allow her frazzled self to burn the food baking in the oven. Or give her frustrated self time to boil over on the next person who happens to walk by.

Nope.

She goes right to Jesus with her problem and waits for Him to answer.

Mary or Martha – Which Are You?

Two sisters. Three lessons. And probably more than four remaining questions.

I’d love to know how Mary responded to Martha’s request.

And how Martha responded to Jesus’ answer.

Did the meal get finished? Did Martha sit down to listen?

Yet, we don’t have those answers.

What we do have are five verses that show us our own two different sides. Martha busy working and Mary busy worshiping.

Are you more of a Martha? More comfortable in the kitchen getting on with the busyness of life. Planning, organizing, and doing all that needs to be done. Content to be the perfect hostess, always checking things off your to-do list?

Or are you more of a Mary? Perfectly content to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen even when there is work to be done. Able to choose the good part and the let rest wait.

Me? I know I’m a Martha. One who does better with busyness, with planning, and when I can check things off my to-do list. A person who gets such great satisfaction from ending my day with a list of tasks completed.

And yet, there are times when my list of things is too big. When I say yes to too many things and push my inner Mary aside.

These are the times when I end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. When I need to take a step back and reevaluate my choices, activities, and goals.

And these are the times when God kindly reminds me that I need to let my inner Mary take the lead. That I need to slow down and remember to be still.

A Final Lesson From Mary & Martha

Martha and Mary show us that both work and worship are needed, but that they each have a place in our lives.

Finding the balance between the two is not always easy. In fact, most of the time we are leaning one way or the other.

These verses give me hope, though. Hope that I can be a doer like Martha, and hope that I can change and be more like Mary.

Jesus never told Martha she was wrong in asking for help, but He did say that Mary chose the good part.

In a world that constantly tells us to be busy, a world that awards doers, we all need to remember to make time to sit and listen. Prioritize not just accomplished projects and busy days, but also the truly good part.

The worship.

We all need to work on finding a better balance between our own inner Martha and Mary.

Are You Looking To Grow Your Faith?

It’s not always easy to be everything we are called to be. With families to care for, churches to serve, and our own personal pursuits, life can feel overwhelming.

Yet, just like we remember to feed our families, we also need to remember to feed ourselves. To spend time nurturing the one relationship that will help us sustain all others.

This is why I created the Grow Your Faith Planner. As a practical way to help busy women like me and you make our time with God a priority – even if our lives seem too busy or the task seems too challenging.

Guidance, encouragement, and help are just a click away.