6 Easy Ways To Combat The Chaos Your Children Are Naturally Drawn To

I don’t know about you, but my children seem drawn to chaos. Like moths to the proverbial flame, they work very hard every day to disrupt, interrupt, and derail the calm and order I try to instill in our home. I find that children and chaos go together like all good pairs: peanut butter and jelly, ham and eggs, or thunder and lightning.

Why Are Children Naturally Drawn To chaos?

I think it’s mainly because they are still small, they are still young. They are driven mainly by impulse. One minute someone is coloring, the next they are reading and the crayons and markers are still on the table. Or someone is playing a board game but a friend calls, so the game and all its pieces are abandoned. Kids are naturally drawn to whatever task is currently catching their attention the most.

My three-year-old is the worst. You can follow her trail throughout the house, and it’s oftentimes a literal crumb trail! And at only three she is full-blown I want what I want when I want it, and I want it where I left it. Obviously, I’ve still got some work to do with that one.

But haplessly jumping from task to task not only leaves ample room for a mess and missing items but also a lack of focus and concentration. Habits, like finishing what you started, cleaning up after yourself, and prioritizing, are necessary to not only teach but to learn ourselves. How we possibly teach our children what we don’t know or practice?

When Life Gets In The Way

I get it. I live it. The constant struggle between what needs to be done and the pull in other multiple directions. There are instances when I have to stop and deal with a new situation, and instances when the situation just has to wait. It’s all about balance, priority, and patience. What my children view as an emergency rarely turns into one. What one person thinks is vital another feels is irrelevant.

So how do you find balance, and manage the chaos of multiple needs and interests and tasks? How do you know when to finish the task rather than leave it? Or when to finish up and prioritize? For us, rules, consistency, and lists are always helpful.

6 Ways To Combat Chaos and Prioritize

It’s not all doom and gloom for parents though. One of our jobs is to raise these children into functioning adults who no longer live by impulse and instead, are able to maintain some self-control.

How that is done is the question that plagues most parents yet the answers are found in the simplest of ways.

That doesn’t mean that ridding your home of chaos will be simple. No. It will take some time and a whole lot of patience in your part. But, with both time and consistency, you can find a balance to their need for freedom and your desire to tame the wild they are naturally born with.

1. Maintain A Schedule or routine

For the most part my days following the same pattern of morning, afternoon, and evening activities. This consistency means my kids know what to expect for the most part.

Mornings are reserved for homeschool and learning, the afternoons are for finishing up remaining lessons, chores, and free-time. Evenings are a balance of dinner and family time, combined with outside activities depending on the day of the week.

Yet even with some unknowns naturally built-in, there is a consistency the kids and I can both depend on. It’s in this consistency that chaos can be controlled.

2. Finish Your Tasks Before Moving On

I’m a stickler for this one whether it’s the kids or me. Whatever task or activity you started, please finish it before you move on to something else. If I am working on school, please don’t ask me about clean laundry. If you are working on math, unless you need my help and have to wait, finish it before you start science. If you are drawing a picture don’t abandon it just because you want to watch T.V.

Learning to complete a task is a part of self-control. Maybe you forgot about something when you started in on something else, or perhaps a phone call comes in that requires a change, but typically, a project can be finished before a new one is started in on.

And if not…

3. Clean Up After Yourself, Please

This one should go without saying, but as parents we all know that our kids are not naturally neat. As a general rule of thumb in our home it’s pretty simple:

• If you take it out, put it away.
• If you make a mess, clean it up.
• And if you see something out of place, just take care of it.

These are not difficult requests, but when they are not done by all six of us, the house quickly becomes a mess. However, if we all work to make sure we are cleaning up as well go it keeps things tidy, makes chores easier, and simply leaves house less chaotic.

Plus, our kids need to learn to simply clean up after themselves. They need to learn that markers left out uncapped will dry out. Paintings strewn all over the table may be blown away by a breeze coming through an open window. Toys left down can be stepped on by others (ouch!) or chewed by pets who haven’t yet learned.

Items left out can be misplaced or damaged, and are not always replaceable. Cleaning up helps to thwart all of this.

4. Prioritize Your Day

This one may be harder for younger kids, but is still a good lesson to teach our kids early on: prioritizing.

Prioritizing is simply realizing that there are only so many hours in the day. For our family, many of those hours are spent on schooling and family activities, but we do make sure the kids also have ample free time to explore the world around them and follow their own curiosity.

However, if they really want to finish a book, then watching TV is not the best choice. And if they want to make sure they can talk with a friend, their chores have to be completed.

The priorities of your home and how you teach children to prioritize may be different than how we do it – but there are still only 24-hours in a day. Teaching our kids how to use those hours best is a skill that will help them well into the future.

5. Remind them That They Have Value

This one can be hard in a world where kids are seen as a burden rather than a blessing. Yet, it’s vital that we make our children understand that they have value in our homes and our families. We need them to see that they are more than their list of chores or another mouth to feed.

How do we do this? We remember that each child has different skills, abilities, and interests and those things make them unique. We encourage them to use these talents and interests and share them with us.

Does this mean doing a puzzle or drawing a picture when we would rather do something else? Sure does! Because spending time with our kids is one of the best ways we can show them the value we see in them.

When kids don’t feel valued in their homes they become needy and feel like a burden. They have a quota of time they need filled and if it’s constantly depleted, they look to fill that void with things or people we would rather they not.

As parents we cannot always spend every waking moment with our kids – and we cannot do everything our kids ask us to do with them – but we can make sure that we see them for who they are and love them, unconditionally. We can point out the skills they have, the talents they possess, and the unique spark they bring to the family. We can remember to compliment them when they do something well or unexpected, thank them for being helpful, ask them to participate in an activity with us, and remember that spending time with them is never time wasted.

6. Teach Them To Enjoy The Quiet

For me this one is easy. As an introvert I crave the peace of silence and the stillness of time alone.

Not always easy to find in a busy household.

Yet, a skill that I find valuable to teach my kids as we work to control the chaos of our busy and hectic lives.

For all, learning to put away the distractions of life and simply be still is a lost art as our lives become busier by the day. Teaching our children how to enjoy the quiet of time by themselves whether they go for a walk, read a book, or just sit and think teaches them to slow down. Quiet time allows you to focus, allows you to recharge, and often times can allow you to realize what’s important.

In an over-stimulated world, the value of slowing down cannot be understated. We all need time free from outside distractions and stimuli.

Chaos is calling, but you don’t have to answer

There are only so many hours in the day. But something about childhood leads them to believe there will always be time for just one more thing. Unfortunately, as parents, we have to be the ones to burst that bubble and guide them. We have to teach them what they can and cannot do in the course of any given day.

Some days are filled with due dates, appointments, and deadlines. Some days there is ample free time to explore, create, or daydream. It’s my hope that in the chaos of trying to teach them they will develop their own skills that will allow them to balance their own busy lives.

How do you try to find balance in a busy world? Comment below!