To The Defeated Homeschool Momma

Dear Defeated Homeschool Mom, Homeschool, Homeschool Mom, Overwhelmed, Overwhelmed Homeschool Mom, Can I Homeschool, Homeschooling is too Hard, Homeschool Challenges, Homeschool Struggles, Defeated Homeschool, Defeated Homeschool Mom, Hope, Hope In The Chaos

Dear Defeated Homeschool Momma,

It seems like you are fighting an uphill battle. Lessons, painstakingly planned, go uncompleted. Unfinished projects litter your desk and counters. Your home is neglected and the chores line up each and every day. Yet every day is a whirlwind of activities and you are left exhausted by the end.

Each day feels overwhelming. Each day a more impossible mountain to climb than the previous one. You look for help and are given only snippets of grand days from homeschoolers who seem to have it all together and couldn’t possibly understand. You look around and see everyone else succeeding. Happy children learning. Proud momma’s smiling. Counters cleaned and laundry neatly put away.

Each day feels overwhelming. Each day a more impossible mountain to climb than the previous one. Click To Tweet

You feel like giving up. You worry that you cannot do this anymore, or worse, lack the ability. And you begin questioning why you even started homeschooling in the first place. You wonder if you should just put the kids back in public school. “It may not be ideal, but it’s got to be better then what I am doing,” you think to yourself as sit down at the end of a long day. Stacks of ungraded papers line your desk and you wonder where the joy and the happiness went.

Defeated Homeschool Momma, Homeschool, Homeschool Help, When Homeschooling Goes Wrong, Homeschooling Help, Homeschool Planning, Homeschool Curriculum, Learning Styles, Teaching Styles, Overwhelmed, Stressed, Hope, Hope In The Chaos

You are not alone.

No, dear defeated homeschool Momma, you are not alone. Day in and day out countless other homeschool Mommas wonder the very same things. They wonder if little Johnny should be writing more in his journals. And if little Suzie should still be using her fingers to figure out her math problems. They stress over keeping up with public school peers or family members who are enrolled in school, and doubting relatives who quiz their children over family gatherings do nothing to assure you of your decision.

You are not alone in wondering if your overly-bouncy and slightly unfocused child would benefit from some additional assistance, assistance better accessible through a public school setting. And you are not the only Mom debating if the “perfect” curriculum is somehow not so perfect anymore.

Rather, you are in a stressful season. A season filled with too many tasks and too few hours. A season of comparison to others that no matter how meaningful has left you afraid of failure. This season is par for the course and one that just about every homeschooling parent can tell you, will pass.

But You Have To Push Through

You have to be willing to look at yourself in the mirror and admit: you can do this. You are not the problem. Yes, there is a problem, but it’s not you. It may be the expectations you placed on your children or your curriculum choices. It may be your home environment or simply the size of your to-do list.

But it is beatable.

No matter the issue, no matter the struggle – you can overcome this. You can defeat this season of overwhelm and doubt.

First, though, you need to just breathe. Acknowledge the problem. Write it all down. Every fear, every worry, every stress. Then, you can begin working to figure it out. And you need to seek out some help.

It could be as simple as maybe little Suzie needs to work more on flashcards and memorization to help with her math. And little Johnny just might be able to write more than you know but wasn’t given the time or inspiration to do so. Your bouncy and unfocused child may simply need a better outlet for their energy and some built-in breaks or a change in diet. That perfect curriculum may be perfect for others, but not perfect for you and may be time to just change it out.

You may need to take a look at your plans, your books, and your ideas, and see if they are achievable. And you may need to cut back on expectations both on yourself and on your children. And give your family some much-needed grace.

You may need to cut back on your expectations and give your family some much-needed grace. Click To Tweet

The Difference Between A Break and Quitting

And it could be as simple as taking a break. A few days, or more, of unschooling and decompressing. A few days of unstructured fun letting imaginations run wild and the textbooks gather some dust. Days of going back to the basics of childhood, rather than back to the basics of learning and standards set by society.

You know your children best, dear defeated homeschool Momma. You know if they are ready for multiplication or Shakespeare, The Roman Empire, or chemistry. You. Not the scope and sequence. Not the well-intentioned stranger who looks at you with doubt. The naysayers who cause you to doubt yourself.

So scrap the books and lesson plans for a day, a week, a month. Whatever you need to recharge and reconnect as a family. Take the time you need to get caught up on the laundry, the projects around the house that often get ignored. Create a system and a home that increases productivity and efficiency. A system that will be welcomed when at last you are ready to continue on your homeschool journey. A journey that is long. One that is challenging and tiring, but one that is worth far more than you can ever imagine at this moment in time. Take a break, dear defeated homeschooling Momma, and recharge your batteries to see if you are positive it’s time to quit, or simply overwhelmed and in need of a moment to simply breathe.

Hope In The Chaos

Looking For Help?

Here are some resources that can assist you in revamping your homeschool. Resources to help you set your mission, get back on track, and homeschool with confidence rather than despair.

Revamping Your Homeschool

Drafting A Mission Statement For Your Homeschool – Creating a mission statement will help remind you why you do what you do every day. A valuable tool for days when it all seems like too much.

Evaluating Your Child’s Learning Style – Learning how your child learns best is vital to ensure you both enjoy your time homeschooling. Teach them the way they learn and watch the how much this benefits them!

Finding Balance Between Homeschool and Home – Creating a schedule, or at least a routine, to help keep your days focused and your plans in order.

Need A Different Curriculum?

Curriculum recommendations from bloggers who have tried them out. Just remember, there is no “one-size fits all” curriculum. What works for one family may not work for yours.

Hope In The Choas – The smallest list available, but one of my personal favorites.

Hip Homeschooling – A large, in-depth list from a veteran homeschooler.

Hip Homeschool Moms – Don’t get overwhelmed, because this list is lengthy!

Need some more personal encouragement to get through your challenging season? Send me an email at and let’s start coming up with some ideas to get you out of this rut, together!







About Kelly

Hi, I’m Kelly, host of Home in the Chaos. I live in the beautiful state of Maine along with my husband and our four wonderful children. I am a stay-at-home mom, homeschooling fanatic, reader of all things literature, and manager of the chaos that is our life – and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I invite you to take a few moments and browse my site, and find out for yourself how to I find the hope in the everyday chaos of my life and how you can do the same.

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6 thoughts on “To The Defeated Homeschool Momma

  1. I loved this! Yes, you are not alone! I think as homeschooling moms we place way too much pressure on ourselves and our children. Thank you for being honest and genuine. I appreciate all your down to earth advice.

    1. Thank you, SmallMomentsMatter! We do tend to put too much pressure on ourselves and our children, as you said. And all that pressure does is make us feel insecure and unable to complete the task.

  2. Thank you for this encouragement. Having a tough few weeks which is leading to so many negative thoughts about my abilities.

    1. Melissa,
      I am glad this was encouraging to you! I think a lot of times as homeschoolers we feel compelled to keep the bad days under wraps – to hide the struggles out of fear we will be told we should just quit. Homeschooling can be a wonderful experience, but it is also a long road full of busy days and a multitude of tasks and options. I am sorry to hear that you are in a rough season, and I hope you take some of this post to heart. It’s OK to take a break. It’s OK to skip the math lessons for a walk outside or to play a board game. Remember, we are not just doing school at home, but we are homeschooling. And to me, that means giving my children the tools they need to learn, not telling them what they need to learn. Feel free to reach out again!

    1. Your welcome Faylene!
      And I am willing to be you are doing better than you think! Take a break if you need one, push your student when they need it. It’s a fine line to find the balance, but it’s out there somewhere. Best of luck!

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