Are You A “Lecturer?” You Have To Read This Book Review!

I think it’s safe to say that when it comes to parenting, we can all use all the help we can get. Whether we are right in the throws of infancy, colic, and teething; battling the joys and struggles of toddlerhood; or navigating the rapids of ever changes adolescence and teens, we know we need the assistance of those who have come before us. So when the opportunity arrived to review one of the titles available from Parenting Made Practical, I was intrigued.

After spending some time on the website and looking at the available options I found myself drawn to one title in particular. Maybe it’s because I knew I did this too much. Maybe it was because I was ready for a change. Or maybe, I am just a glutton for punishment. Either way, my experience from reading Taming The Lecture Bug… and Getting Your Kids To Think by Joey and Carla Link has been an interesting one.

And I cannot wait to share it with you.

Identifying The Problem

For me, this was easy. A “no-brainer” if you would, and something that I have been trying to work on in myself. I was made aware of my own lecturing habit by non-other than my own children several months ago. Upon hearing this admission I was determined to make a change.

It’s not easy though to change what has become a habit.

So, when I read that this was one of the options available I was drawn in. And right from the introduction, I knew this book was going to challenge me, my way of thinking, and my parenting, but, in a good way.

“Parents lecture because they don’t know what else to do to motivate their kids…“

Taming The Lecture Bug, pg xiii

That quote from the introduction just about sums me up.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying my children are bad. I’m not saying they are lazy, rude, or disobedient. Overall, my kids are pretty good at getting their stuff done, following the household rules, and doing as they are asked. They are kind, compassionate, respectful, and helpful.

But, as well all know, kids will be kids and they will look for a way out. A way to get around, to avoid, or to circumvent the status quo. My go-to method for dealing with any infraction, of course, is a good old-fashioned lecture. I talk, you listen. I get to say why this needs to be done, how it’s important, and why it cannot be avoided or skipped. Then we both agree the child will do better next time and go on our merry way.

Until the next time.

It’s a vicious cycle. And one I desperately wanted off.

Diving Right In

The first few chapters of the book identify problems with your kids, and with lecturing. They clearly lay out why your kids tune you out (pg 18-19), why it’s a waste of time (pg 19-20), and the real root of the problem:

Obedience.

Or a lack thereof. We as parents lecture because our kids are disobedient, yet we don’t really treat the lack of obedience only the lack of action. We are treating the symptom rather than the root. Putting a bandage on a critical wound. And if parents aren’t careful, that wound will grow and fester and possibly turn life-threatening.

“When kids don’t obey in the little things, they start the ball rolling and by the time it gets down the hill, it has become a big, ugly mass of rebellion.”

Page 23

So what is a parent to do? How can we do better by our children? And where do we start?

By asking questions.

But not just any questions.

Rather, questions that help you understand why your child chose to not do as they were asked. Why they failed to complete a task, finish an assignment, or avoid a responsibility you assigned to them.

Questions that address more than just the surface and get to the heart of the issue and allow you as the parent to learn so much more than you ever would through a lecture. Questions that allow you to retrain yourself and along the way retrain your children.

Be Prepared

Be prepared, because this book is challenging – but in a good way. This book challenges you to identify your own parental shortcomings in an attempt to help you raise self-sufficient children. It asks you to look inside your own heart and identify your own weaknesses. It directs you to change your way of thinking and approach to parenting to get you off the merry-go-round of lecture, failure, and lecture.

This book is as much about getting you to change as the parent as it is about changing your child.

And when you think about it, that makes sense. The children you have now are a direct correlation to the parenting you have given them in the past. For some parents, that can be a tough pill to swallow, but in today’s ever-changing and ever challenging society its one that parents need to accept.

Far too often we are blinded to our own parental failures to make the tough changes that we need to make. Too many times we are too quick to make excuses for our children or believe the half-truths they tell us. And the reality is that we are not doing them any favors by parenting as a friend afraid to ask our children to take on responsibility and own up to their own mistakes.

Is This Book Right For You?

Well, if you have gotten this far, I think it may be. This book is for every parent who ever wished they had handled a situation with their child differently, after the fact. For every parent who knows that change is possible, but isn’t sure how to make that change happen. This book is for parents who are looking to raise their children upon the foundations of responsibility, accountability, and biblical truths. Parents who want to do nothing more than give their children the stability and opportunity to grow and change while molding them gently, yet firmly.

I Don’t Want To Give Away The Ending

While I don’t want to give away the whole book, I do want you to ask yourself these questions right now:

• Do your children do what you ask, when you ask it, completely?
• Do your children realize when they have messed up?
• Are you children quick to make excuses or pass blame when they have made a mistake?
• Are you guilty of allowing them too many free-passes when they have come up short?
• When an issue arises in your home, do you ask questions or make assumptions?
• Do you know how to address the root of the issue, or do you just pull at the weeds above the surface?

If you see yourself or your children in the above questions, I invite you to check out Taming The Lecture Bug… And Getting Your Kids to Think by Joey and Carla Link. For me, it has been a fantastic read. One that has challenged me as a parent, and guided me to think about my own parenting ideas.

It has also lead to some interesting conversations with my husband about our goals as parents for our children. The opportunity to see where we can become better for our family. And while he has yet to read the book we have started talking about some of the key points I pulled out of the book.

Not Much Of A Reader?

If at this point you are thinking this sounds like something that might interest you, but you really don’t have the time or ambition to read through a book, well, we’ve got you covered. Taming the Lecture Bug is available on both DVD or digital download. The digital file does a great job covering the main points of the book and allows you to hear from the authors themselves. The accompanying 4-page downloadable outline allows you to garner the information needed to start applying the concepts from Taming the Lecture Bug in your home.

Now What?

For us, we keep going. Keep trying to implement the strategies laid out in this book in our home, and keep asking questions of my kids. I have started spending more time listening and less time talking. I am actively thinking about how I am approaching situations that come up in my own home and looking more for a root issue than the silly weed that has surfaced.

Is it easy? No.

Do I think it’s worth it?

Absolutely.

Looking to learn more about Parenting Made Practical? Members of the Homeschool Review Crew had the opportunity to review three different book titles and three different DVD/digital downloads. Be sure to check out all of the reviews!