How To Best Respond to the Dreaded Homeschool Socialization Question

As a family who homeschoolers, one of the biggest negatives we hear is homeschool socialization. You may have even heard it or thought it before as well. There is this idea that because home-educated children are not in the public school system that they are somehow lacking in socialization.

Yet, when did we decide that the only place a child can socialize is inside the walls of a school? And when did society decide that the best way to socialize a child is by grouping them with similarly-aged children for 6-8 hours a day?

It’s a strange paradox if you ask me, and one of the biggest myths that surround home education.

What Is Socialization?

Before we can even get into societies’ idea of socialization, and how it affects homeschool families, I think we should start with a clear definition of socialization.

According to Myriam-Webster, socialization has two meanings in reference to people:

1. The process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society.
2. Social interaction with others.

Basically, it’s interacting with others to develop the values of society.

Let’s Take This One Step At A Time

So now that we have a definition, let’s slow down a little and think about what it said.

In the first definition, we read that socialization is “the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society.”

Is that what you want for your kids?

As a homeschool family, there is a chance your child will not develop the values, habits, and attitudes of society. Instead, they will develop the values, habits, and attitudes of their family.

And for many homeschoolers, this is kind of the point.

We want our children to have the values, habits, and attitudes we wish to instill in them rather than those society wants to teach.

For our family, that includes teaching our children faith. For other homeschoolers, it’s teaching them farming, gardening, or homesteading. Your own family may have its own unique ideas, traditions, and values you want your children to embrace.

And how are any of these things a negative?

More importantly, what type of socialization does your child get at their local public school? Many kids are learning things that go directly against their family’s values. Habits picked up are often poor ones including bullying, body shaming, and exclusion. And attitudes… well, many kids are lacking in humility and kindness regardless of how hard their parents try to instill these values in them.

All of this, and more, can be found in spending hours a day in a classroom being mostly influenced by peers and navigating the mess of peer pressure. This, being influenced by peers and peer pressure, not to mention social media, is the problem with modern-day socialization.

Based on this first definition of socialization, you’re right, I don’t want it. I don’t want it for my kids. I don’t want it for my family.

And I’m thinking that you don’t want this either.

Interacting With Others Is Not Necessarily A Bad Thing

The second definition, social interaction with others, is the one that most people worry about. They fear that homeschooled children lack time to interact with other children. That they will end up weird or awkward, unable to navigate the world as adults.

For many homeschool families, this is far from true. Whether they sign up for a local co-op, get their children involved in sports, or are active in their church, most children have the opportunity to interact with other children.

Overall, the idea that homeschooled children lack socialization is simply a myth perpetuated by those who don’t understand home education and an inside joke for those of us who know the truth.

And What Is The Truth About Homeschool Socialization?

Homeschooled children do spend a large part of their time surrounded by their family. For many, this means sibling bonds are stronger, as is the parent-child relationship.

Children who are homeschooled are more likely to be influenced by their parents. They are more likely to help shape their siblings, both younger and older.

Neither of these things are bad. In fact, they are one of the many benefits of homeschooling.

The truth is, the modern definition, the modern idea of socialization, is not that great. Grouping children by age for 12-14 years is nothing like “the real world” where you will interact with people of all ages.

Moreover, public school is not the only place that interacting with others can happen. You can meet people at the grocery store, the library, the gas station. You can interact with cashiers, clerks, and even the postal delivery worker (my daughter says “hi” most days to our mailman).

Children who are educated at home can mingle and befriend kids through co-ops, clubs, and even sports.

They can learn about the world through pen-pal programs or sponsor a child programs.

And they can learn how to be a productive, valuable, and kind member of society in a small unit, with their family, where they can embrace their own interests and passions without fear of ridicule from peers who simply want to fit in.

In short, homeschool socialization is the kind of socialization you want your kids to have.

The Best Response to the Dreaded homeschool Socialization Question

As for our family, we can laugh at the unsocialized homeschooler memes as our six-year-old talks to anyone who will listen. (Seriously, there is not a shy bone in her body!)

We can ignore the naysayers as our 10-year-old digs deep into his weather lessons and shares his passion and knowledge with anyone who will listen. (Who wants to learn more about hurricanes and tornadoes and waterspouts?)

And we can simply shake it off as we watch as our oldest two flourish being able to pursue their passions and dreams free from the constraints of peer pressure and push to be like everyone else.

Because we know that our kids are not hidden from society. They are not kept behind the walls of our home day in and day out.

They are simply educated, and socialized, by us.

And that is the best response to the dreaded socialization question.

Want To Know More About Homeschooling?

Let me help you navigate homeschooling, myths, facts, and getting started in The Complete Beginner’s Guide To Homeschooling!

In the Guide, we are going to look at establishing your homeschool, learning how to teach your children, and transitioning smoothly from a public or private school. I’ll share with you common homeschool terms, learning styles, and homeschool methods.

And together, we will help you establish a homeschool that helps you nurture your homeschool and educate your children with confidence.